Why do we lose credibility with ourselves?
Published- 29th May 2024
Believing that we can do something is the most fundamental, and the only step there exists on the ladder of success.
As Confucius, the Chinese philosopher, says "The man who says he can, and the man who says he can't are both correct." There is no middle ground to this, either you believe you can, or you don't. The people who hide behind the hollow armors of 'Some people are special', 'The odds were against me', 'LET'S BE REALISTIC' and the 'Ifs, Buts, Should've, Could've' fall into the latter category, as well. But why do these distinctions, and categories exist? Why do we not believe in ourselves? Why, especially when we all started from the same dot, with the same potential and with the same fears.
I believe the main reason to this is how we dream our goals, and how we associate ourselves to our goals. And yes, there is a correct way of dreaming free. We often tend to associate and connect ourselves with the end result of our journey, and we begin to fantasize our happiness at the end of the tunnel where we think the light is, forgetting the distance we have to go through the tunnel is way too big, to be upset in.
Already choosing to keep our happiness postponed for the end, We also tend to focus on just trying to build the attractive commodity, and we forget we also have to become the professional or have the persona of that professional whose second nature is to build that commodity. As James Clear writes in his book 'Atomic Habits', "The goal is not to write a novel, but to become a writer." But we invest our energy on thinking we would be a writer when we finish the book, not knowing we are already a writer when we write 2-3 pages everyday.
This feeling of being not able to reach the end of the tunnel quick enough frustrates us and makes us even more unhappy, with the feeling of 'We don't deserve to be happy until we reach the end of tunnel' already building up. We also always have people around us having better lives and doing better in their professional career which sparks our jealousy. This kills our ego, our confidence and when we repeat this activity over a period of time, We lose credibility with our own selves.
The only solution to this problem is to be happy with every drop of work we put into this ocean of life, be it rewarding or not. Be happy through the tunnel, at the end of it, outside it, even if you don't see no light through and after it.